She sneezes when she sees bright lights

It has been a difficult three days.

A pretty lonely three days.

I began monday with the biggest sense of helplessness I've ever experenced, and though that has eased some its not all rainbows and daisys.

Apparently I'm a good baggage handiler, because everyone keeps dumping their woes on me. And honestly, I'm fine with that.

Honest and truly, I'm here for anyone who needs me.

Those numbers seem to be rising.

Kasey turned and asked me why it was she always opened up to me. I shrug and refelct on the singificience of that statment. ANd than I spend the next 24hrs contemplating her in my head, and all I've REALLY decided is I"m glad I'm not her. I'm a lot of help.

There are the so called 'Friends' I have who say i'm the so called "Best" but only when they need a peptalk, or a person to share their issues with. But in class when there pretending to be all happy and fine I'm thrown into the back like I never even mattered.

Thats really whats been bothering me the least this week, but even at its least its quite a lot. Its selfish of me, I should be happy their happy. I should be happy they have other friends to joke and play with. But sometimes I just think "I do everything for you....I loose sleep for you.....can't you just talk to me?"

Maybe its pathetic and selfish and lame or whatever. I'm not always like that. Sometimes I"m the oppisote. Somtimes I think "I'm Strong and have friends and its all in my mind" Sometimes I Think Its good everythings crazy and messed up. Sometimes I don't think its as bad as it is.



I'm just tired.