The State looks down on sodimy

Muwhaha.

I feel empowered, Strong, like I grew a tougher skin and all oppisiton to my wellbeing can be crushed beneath my powerful feet.

You there! THING THAT WANTS TO MAKE ME SAD! Yeah, come here so I can kick your ass. :D

Sleeping Dogs never lie far enough away

You speak to me, and I think "Why is everything so complicated?"

But I just relized that this might mean we can hold it all together.

Oh, and last week? I KICKD YOUR NONEXISTANT ASS! :D

She sneezes when she sees bright lights

It has been a difficult three days.

A pretty lonely three days.

I began monday with the biggest sense of helplessness I've ever experenced, and though that has eased some its not all rainbows and daisys.

Apparently I'm a good baggage handiler, because everyone keeps dumping their woes on me. And honestly, I'm fine with that.

Honest and truly, I'm here for anyone who needs me.

Those numbers seem to be rising.

Kasey turned and asked me why it was she always opened up to me. I shrug and refelct on the singificience of that statment. ANd than I spend the next 24hrs contemplating her in my head, and all I've REALLY decided is I"m glad I'm not her. I'm a lot of help.

There are the so called 'Friends' I have who say i'm the so called "Best" but only when they need a peptalk, or a person to share their issues with. But in class when there pretending to be all happy and fine I'm thrown into the back like I never even mattered.

Thats really whats been bothering me the least this week, but even at its least its quite a lot. Its selfish of me, I should be happy their happy. I should be happy they have other friends to joke and play with. But sometimes I just think "I do everything for you....I loose sleep for you.....can't you just talk to me?"

Maybe its pathetic and selfish and lame or whatever. I'm not always like that. Sometimes I"m the oppisote. Somtimes I think "I'm Strong and have friends and its all in my mind" Sometimes I Think Its good everythings crazy and messed up. Sometimes I don't think its as bad as it is.



I'm just tired.

I'll stick around

The difference?

I ask too many questions.

You don't ask enough.

"If you love me, I'll stick around"

My threats worked I Guess.

Kittens and Appartment buildings

This is another dream one. I'm sorry. I Feel like and ediot writing about these, but no one has to read them.

So last night I had a dream my dad got a kitten. It scared me even though I always beg for one. It had lopsided eyes and I didn't know how to blaance Oliver and this one. I put it in the back of my truck that I sat in with Charlie *I think it was probably Charlies truck considering he has a truck, why i dream about charlie i do not know* and we gunned it

We got to the aparment place we had been in before the kitten dream started, and I remembered it was in the back seat. It was pretty cute all cureled up in a desperate attempt to not be dead. I decided I liked it then. I still didn't know if i could love two cats though. I worried about its eyes.

I carried it around in a little ball. I woke up feeling guilty and selfish