Day 2 July 2, 1863, the second day of the Battle of Gettysburg.

7860 men fought each other in the exact spot I stood some 146 years earlier. When they had shoved bayonettes into each other the area had been clear of trees making it optimal for that sort of thing. Now it was a forrest.

So there I stood, in one of the most famous locations of Civil War history, trying to egnore the heat and focus on the impact of it all when Kristi calls to tell me she bought a bird.

"Name it porkchop" I say as I move closer to the parking spacesa way from the edge of the hill. I'm trying not to feel awkward wearing the shoes I have on. I feel no pride for the battle site.

I don't know why any of that is significant. I'm in a historical mood. Both my own, others, and the country's.

I blame John Adams for this. His biography, though not entirly thrilling, is interesting enough when traveling across the country. Letters from Abbigale to John about Washington crossing the Deleware is made slightly more exciting while driving along the very river.

My gradfather repetivly tells the ancidote of some great relitive of ours who once said "I'm glad i don't have any above average chrildren". He tells it with the greatest of humor, and I think he agrees complelty with it.

I think what he trys to portray is he wants a simple happy life for us all.

I resent that story, and the fact he tells it so often, and the fact he thinks it applys to me.

I am vain. I do not think I am average for several reasons. Average these days is very low. Not to mention I do not even understand the concept of such measures.

Susey is average becuase she has a husband who works at the factory and two kids. She vacumes and makes dinner.

So she's not in africa fighting a war? That makes her average? I don't understand.

I do understand that I refuse to submit myself to this impossible to comprehend imagenary scale that we judge oursleves on. I need to be more. I don't think I can be happy if I'm not.

That might be youthful arrogence, but I think if everyone disgarded their dreams as youthful arrogence we would not have all the things we have today. There are others more ill suited then I for these things to be acomplished, and as Adams says

"If an Honest man refuses, a dishonest man will not"

Yeah I"m a woman, were gonna pretend he was talking about everyone for my purposes. :D