Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Letting Go of you helped me relize the world

Its the one thing I need to talk about...Your the last person I need to talk to.

I am dirt. I hate that I was a coward and screwed everything up. I want to tell you all the horrible things I've done and did to you. I want you to hate me. Just for a while.

But I can't tell you any of this becuase I know your'll get sad and try to comfort me. your still way to into it. Its been...almost 2 months and yours till way too into it. I'm afraid I'm giong to break you. I was always afraid I was going to break you.

I'm afraide I already broke you.

I broke all of this. Things played out on their own but I was the catalyst. Why couldn't I hold it together? Why couldn't I have kept my mouth shut?

I hate how fast I got over all of this. You were a part of me.....I'd get sick when you were sick. I'd cry when you were upset...I tried to take every bad thing that happend to you and make it my own.

I don't even feel an attraction anymore. None. It dosn't exist. I don't remember how that felt...

Sometimes I picture you, and I imagen your smell, and our hands and your arms.

And I get nothing. I know your first major relationship is supposed to fail...but its supposed to fail because you were stupid teenagers who screwed it up...

I guess the world got tired of us being happy so it decided to just make any feelings I had stop. They gave them all to you.

1 comment:

eric mc said...

seems like some good change is happening with you m'dear...even if its not what i would expect