I wanted to be everything to you

Ah.

So he's NOT compeltly shut off from the world.....he CAN get mad about circumstance....he's not exactly a pained soul.....and I"m not exactly sure I want him to be......

I mean, its about freakin time he learn life sucks, but I have no idea what to tell him.

Why should someone's house burn down twice? How is that fair?

Its not, but they will make it through....They did before, they will again....it happend for a reason, God dosn't just get trigger happy.

But who am I to act like I'm the worlds expert on bad things happening? I live in a freakin bubble.....

Well, sorta anyway.

I"m way harsh on this kid.

But I guess someone has to.

I am freakin kickass at being a cold hearted jerk.

Its pretty easy to close yourself off and act jaded.

I'm kinda impressed at how distant I can be with everyone....

Sorta like a movie

GunOfTheMartyr (4:11:03 PM): I don't think the world can take too many more deadbeats like him

GunOfTheMartyr (4:11:09 PM): Regardless of the fact that he has a job

GunOfTheMartyr (4:11:11 PM): And my hoodie

Locked Doors

Last night I fought the urge to lock my self in my room and have no outside contact until I got over it.

It being the illness I seemed to have aquired that makes everyone I know mad at me.

It being the fear that people are begining to see what I've known all along and that perhaps I'm not as strong as I had convinced them.

I mean sure, this used to happen all the time, but it hadn't in so very long.

When did I become so week as to start crying when a mere two people were unhappy with me?

I used to take on armys of them.

My girl friends get on my nerves, I want to scream and take them by the sholders and ask when the freak they decided to just throw it all away.

I'm tired of being nice to suicidial people who are cowards, I want to put them in a room full of dieing people or something just as dramatic and tell them to just get over it.

You don't need to tell me thats not the problem because I know its not. I know thats not how to handle things and I know I'm whining.

I need to do something productive

Hypothetical questions and no physc degree

You know what I"m sick of?

No you don't, thats why your here. Reading this.

I'm sick of people asking me seemingly randome questions.....

Or for that matter, just making randome statements.

Like, when the one girl says she hate pregnant girls and asks if I would still talk to her if she was.

Like a fool I say sure, but it'd be weird.

She looks at me and goes "What if I am?"

Well hell. What if you are? Why are you telling me, what exactly do you want me to say? SHould have thought about that before? Yeah, that'll work.

And then when another person goes "Wouldn't if be funny if I was drunk got pulled over and said my ABC's backwards?"

Um...no, not really.

Apparently she thinks you get superpowers when your drunk, I ask her if you can fly when your like that.

So then I begin wondering what exactly got her on this track of thought and suddenly...


I'm mother hen.