She says she's living for fun.
Dosn't look like a lot of fun to me.
She says she left in the middle of the show to go talk about her feelings in the restroom with Addie. I was invited, I'm not disapointed I declined to go.
She says she wanted to cry in that restroom.
I asked her why she felt like she needed to cry....she said she was having a moment.
I asked her why she couldn't have the moment in front of everyone right there on that flower prtined couch that smelled like old cheetoes.
She is after all 'happy' right? That means she should be able to show her true feelings to her everyone right? She shouldn't take refuge in the bathroom just to let it all out.
Last week, I might have let it all slide. I might have thought "Hey, your life, do what feels right"
But this week I'm a differnt person, and I can't talk how I talk, act as I do, and sit by silently while she slowly looses herself.
Reforme was necessary absoulty impartive for me.....that involved a lot of bad choices, a lot of apathy, and a lot of misery.
But then again, maybe it took me longer then necessary to realize that I was empty, longer to realize that was why I could put on such happy face during the day I'd forget I hated myself, but it came off and night and I was kept up by sheer slef loathing.
Maybe if I had someone there, who had just asked me that question, things would have been differnt.
So, even though she says I'm hurting her feelings, and I AM in fact, being deadly blunt, I don't regret it.
Because if it hurt her feelings....she's thinking about what I said. And at hte moment, thats all I can ask.
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