Ignoring the obviouse

I used to be poetic and just and ignorance and blissfuly unaware of my own humanities.

I used to be unfazed and idealistic and sure in my values and convictions, I knew what I wanted, I knew how to get there.

I don't know what I want, I don't even know how to string words together in a form art to make a picture or evoke an emotion any longer.

Its teenage angst, it has to be teenage angst, I just can only hope that sometime I'll get to be a teenager with out angst. The optamistic, not trying to prove anything kind.

Have you ever met one of those? Me either.

Maybe some day being egnored won't hurt so much, and sitting at home doing homework on a Saturday won't seem pathetic, merly pratical. A good use of time so to say.

Though about now I"d give anything just to throw up my hands and do something less productive and pratical. To go out and party, to drive in circles, to walk around the block, or to merly cry into my pillow.

The later is probably what I shall end up doing, but quite frankly I don't understand why. I never understand why. I think I'm the person who balances out all those stubbern boys who hold their tears in. They just send them to me, I'll take care of the dirty work for them.

The good news is I've done my health, the bad news is.....

I don't consider anything goodnews.