Patterns

This Holiday season my grandfather has remineded me quite a few times where we were last Christmas, and how differnt things are now.

Last Christmas my grandmother was dieing, things wern't good, Christmas came and I was alone while they were at the hospital, I actualy attempted to make a holiday video, I thought it would be nice for them.

I never got it done, they were never home to be filmed.

But I had a happy Christmas, and I don't regret having had a seemling unhappy holiday.

However, what he seems to be forgetting is that the year before that she was also in the hospital, and I was once again alone.

I mentiond this to him, but he didn't say anyhing on the subject.

I suppose I don't understand.

This year almost did the same thing, my Dad almost died, but somehow he didn't, and he'll be here this Christmas.

Maybe I won't be alone.

In other news, I'm actualy in good spirits today, I've had a good week, yet some...odd things have been happening.

I'm not quite sure if its the politicly correct term....but I think I was sexualy haressed.

Theres a guy named Jeff. Jeff likes to give me hugs, and grab my hand, and joke about having camras in my house seeing me nakid.....

He uses humor to pass it off, it always was annoying, but I figured he was just an annoying guy, people would of been angry if I had told on him.

But Tuesday, he freaked me out. Eric, who J has now appointed as my body gard when Jeff is around and he is not, was walking with me when Jeff came up and grabbed my butt, when I moved to the other side of Eric and began to take my seat Jeff physical shoved Eric out of the way and sat next to me.

I was blocked on both sides and the convication was starting so moving was not an option.

Jeff began to rub my leg with his hand.

Then he put his arm around me, I shrugged him off and curled into a ball in my seat.

He continued to touch me.

Then a teacher sat down near by so he stoped, when it was over I bolted.

Kristi tried to stop me but for some reason Jeffs harmelss teasings just freaked me out that day. Worst of all I could find J anywhere.

And I was late to class.

So running up the stairs trying to get to my locker I he runs into me again, he's excuse for touching me is because he wants to see J get mad and hit him. I don't think he relizes J wouldn't do that.

Or I thought.

I made some sarcastic comment and turned a corner, someone poked me and I jumped thinking it was Jeff.

It was J.

That darn guy knows me better for what I give him credit for because by lunch he had figured out that Jeff had done something or other, and apparently his body gard wasn't sufficent.

I didn't want to tell him though. I wanted him to know, just...I felt asahmed telling him.

And yet, he found out.

And got mad.

Really mad.

So I guess your wondering why I'm happy?

I suppose its because when I felt really helpless and pathetic, I had good friends willing to hit a stupid pervert and get in trouble for me.

I guess you could say I feel loved.